Unfaired Upon…

If you read this blog on any sort of regular basis, you know that my wife Keena has Crohn’s disease.  As well, you would also know that it was 2 years before it was finally diagnosed properly followed by 5 years of hospital visits, heavy duty meds, ups and downs, and two bouts with near death until she finally had an ileostomy which removed her entire large intestine.  During that time, our perceptions and paradigms around health, medicine, physicians, food, and support were completely turned on end.

But some of you may not know that about 3 months after Keena’s surgery – just as she was starting to feel well for the first time in 7 years – her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer.  In fact, the diagnosis from the doctors was that the tumor had probably been there for 5 years or so, going undetected by mammograms.  (Yes, it was news to us as well that they don’t always work…)

Luckily, Suzy found her way into a study during her treatment.  Because she qualified, she would get some free medications as she would have chemo both before AND after the surgery.  Doctor’s hypothesize that book ending the surgery like that will significantly improve her chances of staying clear of cancer.  (It better too…there’s nothing like losing your hair – eyebrows included – experiencing nausea, losing your appetite, getting blisters on your hands & feet, and many other wonderful side effects for no reason!)

And much like we did with Keena, our perceptions are being stretched yet again.  And what’s really interesting is that those of us who went through it with Keena are responding differently to Suzy just a few short months later.  The context and the variables are different enough that our support mechanisms have changed.

For example, Keena and I obviously have a daughter now.  A daughter who loves her Nana very much!  And love to Addie isn’t snuggling and rubbing of backs…it’s getting down on the floor and playing.  It’s running, jumping, hide and seek, and lots of other cardiovascular activities.  So, for Nana, my daughter’s desire to be with her is a real problem right now.  That is why Keena can’t see her mom (read: best friend) nearly as much as she wants to.  So Suzy has to endure more of this alone.

As well, there are other relationships that are different.  Suzy’s sister has come out twice during the process, much like she did for Keena several times.  She’s a calming influence for the family and she helps cut through the junk to find the heart of the matter.  But you can see how much harder it is for her to be strong with her sister than with her niece.  

Then of course there is Dave, Suzy’s husband and Keena’s dad.  When Keena got sick, his primary responsibility was to support Suzy as she supported Kee.  Not that he didn’t care for Keena – he cares deeply!  But, his role was clear and his charter was simple: make it easy for Suzy to care for her daughter.  Now, though, he’s in a pickle.  He’s a career Air Force mechanic.  He’s a tough guy.  He’ll tell you about how he came back from knee surgery a week early, against doctor’s orders, and that a person should take as few pain medications as is possible.  Everything is about ROI and TCO.  So, when you ask him for sympathy and empathy, it’s hard.  His mission has changed and his skill set is making it difficult.

Of course all of this is still in the midst of friends and other family members who don’t know how to act or react.  This was true for Keena too – I suspect it’s the human condition.  Very few people really know how to help a person who is going through something alien.  For example, my mom holds “good thoughts” for people, but doesn’t communicate those concerns to the person.  At the same time Suzy has a friend who communicates every thought, to the point of being a bit of a burden.  I try to support Keena as she supports her mom which probably doesn’t let Suzy know how much I want to help her.  Etc.  People generally speaking have trouble doing the right thing, saying the right thing, and offering the right help…it’s just hard!

And there is also the lack of understanding.  I used to get it all the time with Keena.  People would ask me how Keena was doing and I’d tell them.  A year later, I’d see that same person who would ask again about Keena.  When the news was actually worse than the previous year, it made most people extremely uncomfortable.  Doctors are supposed to make you better.  Medicine is supposed to work.  These are things Americans hold to be true and when something happens that promotes a different kind of experience, we get very uncomfortable.  

This is true with Suzy.  She responded very well to her first treatments of chemo.  The tumor essentially died – although it didn’t reduce in size.  Many people hear this and think, “Oh good…it’s over.”  Ask Suzy if it’s over.  She’s got 3 more months of super side-effects from the chemo, not to mention the reconstruction surgeries, etc.  Then there is also the burden of worrying about cancer for pretty much the rest of her life…

What still amazes me, almost every day, is that there are stories like this going on in almost every family around.  We all feel so insulated from the reality of sickness because as a culture, we really don’t share these burdens on a regular basis.  But when you talk to someone and find out about a sick spouse, child, or maybe even the person you’re talking to, it’s so hard to be in the moment and work on understanding.  I’m guessing it’s because it’s too painful to hear on a regular basis so people would rather stay at a distance than really get in there and ask questions.  And for some people, myself included, who have never really had medical problems, it’s almost impossible to truly empathize.  

But at the end of the day, I think it comes down to this.  We need to know that people are hurting.  While we may not know exactly how to help or support them, it’s a good starting place.  And about the only real way to learn that is to ask.  Then, the second step is something I’m going to try very hard to teach my daughter.  After we know they are hurting, it’s important to listen.  It’s important from one human to another to acknowledge the context of their situation and listen.  From that listening I believe a lot of good can come.  You can hear how to support, how to help, or simply what to say next.  Simply giving 30 minutes to someone may be all they need that particular day.  Talking it out (for most people) really can make an impact.  

So this blog, while about my family and about illness, is really about what I believe in from my core.  I teach communication to people around the world and that’s what this blog is about.  Listening, immediacy, feedback, stories, context, and interpersonal communication – these are traits that we should all work on in multiple frameworks.  

Here’s to healing for you Suzy.  And here is to health for our family.  We’ve had enough sickness to last a lifetime, so here is to a time of wellness for us all moving forward.

Want to hear more about how to communicate around illness?  Need someone to speak to your group about effective interpersonal communication?  Contact jborden@jeffpresents.com for more information!

Mentors

When I was sixteen years old, I remember going downstairs to our basement where my dad was watching tv.  In fact, he was watching some guy on tv talk about the need for men to have a mentor.  I watched the tape with my dad and when it was done, I remember looking up as my dad was silent for a few minutes. “What did you think of that Dad?” I asked after a while.  He went on to explain to me that felt every guy needed a mentor – a leader and/or teacher to help him navigate parts of life that were tough, new, or important.  In fact, my dad said that I should always strive to find a person like that in my life – that he would never be able to fulfill all when it came to advising.  I tried very hard to take him seriously and I’ve looked for mentors my whole life.

So, as Father’s Day came and went and I got to celebrate as a dad myself, it also gave me time to reflect on the men who have had a significant impact on my life.  First off, I’m sorry ladies.  I know there are several of you who have also affected me greatly, but I didn’t think about this until yesterday.  Maybe next Mother’s Day, I’ll do something similar

Note, I’m not talking about respect.  There are tons of men who have passed through my life that I respect a great deal.  My Father-In-Law comes to mind.  He’s a good man – an Air Force man – who can fix just about anything that needs fixing.  He wants desperately to be a good husband, a good dad, and a good Papa.  I respect him immensely.  Likewise, I respect some of my friends.  John, Luke, David, Ben – these are good guys who I love to hang out with – in fact, I wish I had MUCH more time to hang out more often.  

But I’m talking more than friendship or respect – this is deeper.  I’ve known guys to leave companies because they had no mentor to coach them through.  I’ve known men who joined clubs and groups just to find a trusted advisor.  Heck, my mom works with Psycho-analysts who let people pay for years to gain a guide in life!

I would also add that the men in my life who have taught me, led me, and helped me become who I am today were very diverse.  Many probably have no idea that they meant something to me.  Well today I hope to remedy that.  I won’t use any last names, with a few exceptions, but if these guys read my work…they’ll know.

1. Jim, Tim, and Steve.  I lump these guys together because they all held the same role – they were my youth leaders growing up.  As the son of a preacher, of course I grew up in and around a church.  But these three leaders got me through Junior and Senior High School when I was probably pretty tough to deal with.  They taught me how to live a decent life, without the need to act crazy in the name of fun.  And as a result, my high school career was pretty great.  No major trouble – no drugs – no drinking – just fun doing things that I enjoyed and that made people happy.  Thanks for not giving up on me you guys!
2. Keaten.  The best professor I ever had was in college and luckily I stuck around to really gain access to his brain in my grad program.  Keaten taught me how to be a better communicator, instructor, and presenter than any other teacher I had and that’s saying something as I was pretty lucky in that department.  I now know that most college professors are never given education classes – they don’t necessarily know how to teach, what adult learning theory is, how to put an outcome and an assessment together, etc.  But Keaten knew this stuff and he passed it to me.  I was lucky enough to watch him model great teaching behaviors and have him directly assess my ability to create instruction too.  While I’ve come a long way in terms of my education about education, he started me on a path for which I will forever be grateful.  Unfortunately some life stuff got in the way of staying close, but he was a great mentor to me and I won’t forget it.
3. Andy.  I’ve blogged before about Andy.  He’s the ultimate stats guy – a logistician’s logistician.  He loathes blanket statements and starts to shake if people babble on about nothing for long.  But the guy taught me process is important.  If you ask my wife, she’ll tell you I’m a big picture guy.  I’m a visionary.  Don’t bog me down with the details!  But Andy showed me the importance of those details.  Not only did he explain their value, he showed me several ways to implement and operationalize those details effectively.  Anchor against what’s known.  See if it passes the “Spidey Sense” test (one of my personal favorites if you know how much of a Spider-Man fan I am…)  Follow the flow.  And I must admit I actually have some Excel skills.  Not “mad” skills mind you – this grasshopper will likely never out spreadsheet the master.  But I can put formulas together to figure out support numbers or analyze training revenues.  What’s also interesting about Andy is his management style.  Don’t get me wrong – there are people who worked for him that can’t stand the style.  But what I like is that he accepts that.  He knows he can’t manage all people all the time – but he’s going to try like crazy to set up a culture where others can fill in the blanks for him.  And ultimately, he takes care of the people he feels deserve it.
4. Steve.  I came to know Steve as one of our clients about 6 years ago.  He was just taking over the online program for a bunch of community colleges.  I’m actually not sure how long it took Steve and I to become “friends” – but it couldn’t have been long.  We’ve traveled hundreds…possibly thousands of miles together on car trips around the great state of Iowa, and along the way he’s gone beyond simple friendship.  He’s taught me some valuable things.  The most pertinent lesson I’ve learned from Steve is that NICE GUYS DON’T HAVE TO FINISH LAST!  It’s true.  I’ve talked with Andy before about not being “cutthroat” in business.  It’s just not who either of us are.  And it’s probably why neither of us has $4 million in the bank today.  But, Steve has shown me that it’s okay to be a decent person, to try and be a good boss, and to attempt to make decisions that empower others.  Steve has quietly provided a platform for dozens…no, hundreds of people to shine.  He never wants the glory – he never wants the praise.  He just wants those around him to succeed.  From the high school girls he coaches to the college instructors he leads, his “get out of the way” approach to leadership has done nothing but make his groups grow, succeed, and be great.
5. Paul Borden.  I told you, a few last names…and you had to see it coming!  My dad has been a tremendous figure in my life.  Over and over again, he has reinvented himself to me and it hasn’t gone unnoticed.  While I’ve seen him struggle – I don’t think that’s a problem for a mentee.  In fact, growing to see your mentor for all of the positive and all of the negative I would argue is a good thing.  But, at the heart of my relationship with my dad is a friendship – a bond that I hope I achieve with my daughter.  His guidance when it comes to money, friendship, relationships, and so much more has manifested itself throughout my life.  And speaking of modeling behaviors and skills?  He’s the best presenter I’ve ever seen.  He’s a fantastic consultant who can drill right to the heart of the problem and make you believe you are capable of fixing it overnight.  He’s genuinely funny – and not “preacher” funny – but overall funny!  And at the end of the day, I’m proud to call him my dad.  

So thanks guys…to all of you who have helped me navigate the waters.  I appreciate it.  While I haven’t always made the best decisions and I’ve still had to learn some valuable lessons on my own, it’s been made so much easier because of you.  

To all the Dads out there – Happy Father’s Day.  I hope you are mentoring your kids to be better people.  And to all the mentors out there, wherever you are.  Thank you.

Need a motivational speaker for your next event?  Want someone to talk about how to improve communication, teaching, management, or culture at your office?  Contact jborden@jeffpresents.com for more information!

Keena Update 09

I was recently at a conference with dear friends in Iowa.  I have been asked back as a guest / keynote speaker by the consortium group for the past 5 years and I probably know them better than any other group I work with.  (In addition to consulting with / for them, I am also an adjunct faculty member with one of the consortium schools…so it’s a wonderful tie to life!)  These are not just teachers or partners…I’m honored to count them as friends.

But at this conference, I was greeted and questioned by 20-30 people about Keena.  Teachers who had read my blog last year when Keena got a surgical ileostomy due to complications with her Crohn’s disease – administrators who have children with Colitis – and staff who have a parent struggling with IBS all asked how Keena was and expressed gratitude for her story.

This made me realize that I haven’t really updated her situation in months and, since she has a bigger fan base than I do on my own blog, I thought it important to let you know how she / we have been!  (If you’d like the whole Crohn’s story – check out my blog archives from ’08)

First things first…she’s feeling GREAT!  The advice she received from a dear friend and her amazing doctors was spot on.  She felt pretty crummy for the first two weeks, but steadily improved every day after that.  By the end of the first month, she felt better than she had in years.  By the end of the second month, she was at 90%.  And by the end of the third month, she felt like her old self again.  She got her life back…

Keep in mind, the hospital was not great.  And by not great, I mean really crappy actually!  The nurses seemed to be fantastic or really poor (we had 3 wonderful nurses during the 7 day stay there…)  The hospital staff was extremely unhelpful.  But, the only way to get the best surgeon was to use The surgeon by the way, was fantastic – as was her GI doc (whom I have blogged about before).  You couldn’t ask for a better one-two punch for a medical team!  But all in all, for a couple who have seen the inside of 4 hospitals in 5 years, this particular venue was really awful.

But back to life after surgery…Keena is back.  She has energy for our daughter (ok, she at least now has normal tiredness associated with a 2 year old!), she has time to get things done in a day, and she isn’t going to bed at 7:30pm like she did back then.  We can go places without being anchored to the house (aka bathroom) and she is independent again.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve called her to hear that she and Addie are at the park or at the Little Gym.  It’s amazing.

So, with a new outlook on life and a lot more energy, we started talking about all sorts of things we could do, would do, want to do, etc.  Bigger family?  Maybe.  We’d hoped to buy a bigger house too.  We talked about Addie & Keena going with me on trips.  And so far…we’ve done a LOT!  In fact, we just bought the house that Addie should grow up in.  Again, how amazing is it to have great people to work with?  Our realtor is incredible – this is the 3^rd residence he’s helped us get and this time, he actually negotiated a better interest rate with our banker!  Wow…thanks Mark.  Keena has come on 2 trips with me already this year and Addie has joined a gym

Things are really clicking for us.  While my busy schedule has ramped up (1 full time job, 2 part time teaching jobs, 1 part time doctoral student, and that’s all in addition to being a dad / husband), things are good.  Keena, Addie, (Jackson our Greyhound/Lab), and I are doing very well.  And while life is busy, sometimes even distracting, we actually have a filter on it that makes things ok.  Keena’s experiences changed us profoundly.  We eat differently, we think differently, and we see differently.  I won’t say we’re grateful for it – I wouldn’t wish that learning curve on just about anyone – but it does make life a bit sweeter now.  We could have lost her a few different times, but she gutted it out (pun intended) and we now have a lot to be thankful for.  

To all of you who drew some inspiration from Keena, I’m truly glad.  So is she.  In fact, she wanted me to say that if ANYONE needs help, advice, or just an ear to listen – if you’re going through a time trying to figure out what medical problem you might have – or if you have Crohn’s / Colitis and wonder about your future, please contact me and I’ll pass your info along to her.  She learned a TON of things in the past 6 years that could potentially help someone.  

Thanks for reading everyone.  Talk to you all soon.

If you think Keena’s story might be one of hope and help for your group or if you want a motivational talk about life, health, or dealing with problems, contact Jeff at jborden@jeffpresents.com asap!

Transparency 2.0

So, have you heard this Facebook quote?

“yeah, but i feel like such a fraud…do you think dartmouth parents would be upset about paying $40,000 a year for their children to go here if they knew that certain professors were looking up stuff on Wikipedia and asking for advice from their Facebook friends on the night before the lecture?”

Or how about this one?

“…some day when I’m Chair, we’re all going to jog in place throughout the meeting.  this should knock out at least half of the faculty within 10 minutes (especially the blowhards) & then the meeting can be ended in a timely manner.”

Yep…these comments were made public by a Religious Studies professor from Dartmouth on her Facebook page.  They were set as public comments (much to her dismay) instead of private.  So, besides learning to read how your favorite social network actually works, I think we can learn a valuable lesson in terms of transparency!

Professor Ohnuma forgot an important premise - putting it in writing makes it available…period.  Now don’t get me wrong.  I’m all for transparency!  But at the heart of transparency is an important notion (at least to me) – that is accountability.  When a CEO desides to blog about the woes of the company in financially troubled times or an athlete creates a Ning page about his ups and downs in the NFL, they are letting themselves be accountable to the public.  Not only are they experiencing catharsis but they are telling people about their struggles, their vision, the good, and the bad.  That is transparency!

Unfortunately, bashing your employer, your colleagues, and your students on your Facebook page is as smart as licking a NYC subway pole.  Both are going to put you in danger of losing something important and both leave a bad taste in your mouth!  And keep in mind the speed at which the Internet works for crying out loud!  I was at a demonstration at the University of Colorado last year where they sent a radio signal around the world twice before coming out of a transponder to tell a remote control car how to navigate a figure eight course. High speed is past the tipping point my friends and that includes both technology and the speed at which people find things! 

Don’t believe me?  Post a message anywhere on the Net saying you’ll give $20 to the first person who contacts you and see if you can make it 24 hours without several responses!  The bottom line is that social networks require some degree of thought.  Here’s one of my favorite student stories to illustrate the point:

A female student at a college in mid-America where there is little to do and less to look forward to (socially speaking…) kept missing classes.  She was constantly sick.  She couldn’t turn in assignments, missed tests…she was really in a bad place!  In fact, her mother got the point where she was preparing to have the girl’s room checked for asbestos and she was going to bring in a lawyer to sue.  The Dean of Students happened to be playing around on Facebook one weekend with his wife.  They didn’t quite “get it” – but they wanted to see what it was all about.  So, they created a fake college student profile and tried befriending students they knew.  Surprisingly, this sick student found them through a connection and added them as a friend.  (Can you see where I’m heading?)  So, the Dean got onto her profile and guess what he found?  Party pictures…LOTS of party pictures.  And the dates happened to coincide with the nights prior to the missed classes!  So, it seems her “sickness” was self-induced

Look…just be careful with social networks.  I’m a big proponent of transparency and the connections these sites make are amazing.  But handle with care!  Remember, the web is a big, easily accessible place with lots of ears and eyes.  

Looking for a strategy for social networking with your organization?  Want to hear more about Web 2.0, 3.0, or technology in general?  Contact jborden@jeffpresents.com right now!

Keena Updates

Keena Updates:  I want to thank everyone for the thoughts, prayers, and even poetry they have sent.  I’m currently in that worst of places…a surgery waiting room.  Keena had the worst of nights last night – but if anything, it prepared her even more for this surgery!  While I can’t probably write as much as I’m feeling right now, I’ll do what I can to update here often. 

11am: Keena went in for surgery.  Her thoughts were of Addie as I walked out of the room and she smiled through tears with her hand in an “I love you” sign.

1:20pm: The doctor’s circulation nurse has called my cell phone twice!  (I LOVE technology)  This past call let us know that her intestine is out and that she’s stable. 

3:00pm: One more call – the surgeon has closed the incision, but is working on the ileostomy site.  Keena is still stable.

5:15pm: Keena is stable, out of surgery, and heading up to her room!!!   Things are pretty positive so far – a bit of blood loss (to be expected), but otherwise we are in good shape.  YEAH!!

10pm: Keena is fast asleep with her mom at her side.  I came home to watch Addie and give her as much stability as possible for a 17 month old who loves her momma!  Keena did really well today.  In between groggy sleep, she told a few jokes and asked about loved ones.  I really believe that she went into this with the right attitude and it will only serve her well from here on out!  While I’m exhausted, I’m so grateful to have Keena on a path to wellness – it was worth the exhaustion, effort, and sacrifices (I know…easy for me to say).  But the toll of watching your best friend wither away and your daughter’s mommy be unable to love like she wants to…well, it’s been 5 years of pain that I’m ready to say goodbye to. 

We both realize the road ahead isn’t all sunshine and flowers – but we also know that the road she was on was all about decay and death.  While we are hoping for a healthy, fast recovery we know there could be some bumps.  But again, I go back to Keena’s resolve and attitude.  Some may look at her ostomy as an uncomfortable reality…Keena already looks at it as getting her life back.  As long as this stops the Crohn’s from manifesting in her body (and the doctors tell us there is no reason to believe otherwise), Keena is going to be back by Christmas. 

My first blog entry this year stated it was the Year of Jeff.  I was doing what I could to make a self-fulfilling prophecy!  (I’ll write my analysis for my final blog of the year including a WAY cool announcement that should be coming out any day now concerning my job…)  But, I’ve already told my wife that 2009 is the Year of Keena.  (She told me to stop pressuring her) 

Thank you everyone for the support, kind words, and emails.  Keena should be up and around in about 2-3 weeks, gaining strength every day.  Here is to that. 

Amen.

Keena’s Story

Many of you already know that my wife Keena has Crohn’s disease.  It amazes me how many people I talk to know someone with Crohn’s or very similar diseases like Ulcerative Colitis or IBD.  Rates are definitely on the rise…theoretical causes are another blog (or ninety).  But, as I write this blog entry today, my heart is heavy as Keena’s disease has finally brought us to a really serious decision – namely surgery.

To say that someone has Crohn’s is similar to saying someone has cancer.  It’s a big concept that can manifest itself in various ways.  For example, Quarterback David Garrard (of the Jacksonville Jaguars) has the ability to continue playing through his disease.  Keena, on the other hand, has difficulty keeping up with our little girl on a daily basis.  Because of where the disease lives in her system and the types of drugs she’s on, lethargy for Keena is an understatement.  She could no more quarterback an NFL team than I could run 100 miles…at least in my current state of physical health!  (By the way, Keena is David Garrard’s biggest fan!)

Keena first exhibited symptoms about 6 years ago.  It started with a mouth full of canker soars – I’m talking 20-25 at a time.  She started losing weight simply because she couldn’t take the pain of eating!  So, our journey began by trying to diagnose the symptom.  It led us all over the place.  Every friend, co-worker, and family member had a home remedy or “knew a person…”  It became a litany of futile attempts at controlling a symptom instead of looking for the cause.  This was followed by Google searches, WebMD searches, and on and on.  Doctors had no clue, hypothesizing allergies and such, but offering no help at all.  Finally, we started down the holistic route.  Herbalists, acupuncturists, and other guru’s gave her ointments, lotions, capsules, and therapies that would “surely” work. 

Within six months, Keena started noticing some issues in the restroom.  Again, these abnormalities were dismissed by the physicians we saw and the holistic group tried to deal with problems that were not the issue.  Not to mention our own web searches went into overdrive.  Keena tried five major diets – she performed the Specific Carbohydrate Diet for almost a year with no help.  We spent hundreds of dollars on Jordan Rubin’s (Maker’s Diet – I’m NOT linking to this diet as I will not promote it – more on that later) diet which Keena followed for a year with no letup in symptoms.  Meanwhile, she began losing major amounts of weight.  At 5’6” and 130 pounds normally, she was soon 120 pounds.  She had to stop teaching her First Grade class early and was soon unable to leave the house.  By the end of the second year, she was down to 110 pounds and was now using the restroom almost twenty times per day.  Again, medical personnel were stumped, telling Keena to go on “bowel rest” by not eating, religious friends prayed vehemently for a miracle that never came, and while holistic practitioners gave us plenty of answers, they ended with no results.  (Unfortunately, these holistic folks often scared us into distrusting Western medicine and traditional hospitals.)  So, we were left wondering and wandering through our own path.

Finally, weighing 95 pounds, I carried Keena into a doctor’s office in Boulder, CO.  I will never forget bending down to the couch that had become her bed for the past four months and hearing, “Face, don’t let me die.”  (I’m tearing up as I write this!)  So, the doctor listened to our story and sent me from the room to “confront” Keena about having AIDS or being bulimic.  Finally, he agreed to admit her to Boulder County Hospital where we were told her vital organs were hours from shutting down.  For the first time in months, we both felt a sense of hope.  We let go of the fear of hospitals and they went to work!

Within three days, they were fairly certain Keena had Ulcerative Colitis, which turned out to be pretty close.  We had an assembly of physicians and nurses working to help Keena get well.  Within a week, she had put on 10 pounds and she was eating solid food again.  Seven days after entering the hospital, Keena walked away (hobbled is more like it – she had such iron depletion, water pooled in her feet by the pint!) from BCH with a few answers and a new hope.  We had an idea of what we were fighting; now we had to figure out how to do it.

Keena started on several medications that did help at first.  She was on major doses of prednisone, flagyl, and azacol.  Over time, we came to understand there was a continuum of medications, from benign (think Aspirin) to potentially lethal (Tysabri – viral infection of the brain…yikes!).  Keena started on level three of this continuum and began working her way up the scale.  Along the way, she discovered a bit of relief in veganism, we were told not to expect the ability to have children, and she had to quit teaching due to entering the hospital at least once per year for a week or so each time.  She began infusion regiments, self-injections, and treatments that would make a torturer blush.  The one real time of respite came in late 2006.  Her body seemed to even out for a brief period and Keena’s GI doctor told her that if she wanted to have children, we seemed to have a window.  The biggest blessing of this time – of ALL time – came almost exactly ten months later in Addie (yes, apparently we’re both quite fertile…).

That was a year and a half ago.  Unfortunately, Keena’s disease appears tied to her hormones pretty solidly.  About 4-5 months after a baby, a woman apparently has a flood of hormones that release into her system.  Keena’s release of hormones put her into a tailspin that she has not recovered from even slightly.  This brings us to today.  Despite the best efforts of doctors and the heaviest hitters on the medicine spectrum, Keena is spiraling back towards where she was before the first hospital stay.  She can’t take care of our daughter like she wants to…heck, she can’t take care of anything like she wants to.  So, two weeks from today – one week after her birthday and four days prior to Thanksgiving – she is going under the knife to remove her entire large intestine.  It’s a decision that brings fear and hope at the same time.  It’s very permanent and potentially life saving, but it’s the hardest decision we’ve ever made. 

During the past half decade, I think it’s safe to say my wife and I have both grown a great deal.  Here is a sampling of lessons most people probably learn at some point, but which have been particularly impactful for us:

1. We can more easily spot a con-artist who is selling a product while preying on people’s fear and despair.  A good litmus test: try contacting the person who is making the claim – can you easily setup a phone consult or do you just get an 800 number for a company?  (We were never once able to find Jordan Rubin and speak with him despite letters, phone calls, Google searches, etc…) 
2. We found that there is no such thing as a standard issue person.  The claim that something will work for everyone is ludicrous.  There are very few “laws” in the world (like gravity) – I feel confident in saying that people are different.  They react differently to medications, they need different support models, and they have to have unique options for their case.  As well, some react to specific foods, others tolerate environmental things better, and some people are healthy despite treating their bodies like a subway restroom.
3. Doctors don’t know everything in spite of how they may act.  It took us years of wading through doctors to find some that will work with us instead of around us.  It was hard to find someone who wasn’t a know it all, who actually treated Keena the person, not Keena the patient.  I cannot tell you what a difference Dr. Erik Springer has made for Keena.  He listens, he researches, and he is not afraid to admit it when he doesn’t know something.  He’s not just a good doctor, he is a great man.
4. Life is comparative.  It’s so hard to hear people complain about “trivial” problems in contrast to what Keena has / is going through.  But that’s what life is, right?  You believe your problems to be significant and therefore they ARE significant.  Once again proving that perception determines reality.  (Keena actually had a friend visit her in the hospital only to cry because the dog had peed on the carpet that morning…)
5. Life really is quite short.  When you butt up against mortality, it changes your perspective on a lot of things.  Time is a big one.  I look back at my life and realize I wasted a LOT of time on things, people, jobs, and processes that weren’t worth 10% of the energy I put into them.  Had I cut ties sooner, I could have moved on to more worth-while ventures.
6. As a PK (pastor’s kid) I was raised in a very anti-money culture.  This isn’t to say that money wasn’t valued, but it was perceived as a “necessary evil.”  So, growing up I tried hard to make it to a place where I didn’t have more than I needed.  Then, when Keena got sick, I soon realized that not having “more” meant not having enough if the chips were down.  Now I work my tail off to make sure we’ll be ok no matter what.
7. Family is important.  I’m sad that it took Keena’s illness to show me how valuable family is, but it did.  I always had the impression that counting on family too heavily was dysfunctional, but I was wrong.  I love my family dearly and would do most anything for any of them.  Nobody is on their death bed saying, “I wish I’d spent more time working…”

I know this blog is fairly long.  I think it was cathartic.  I have actually spoken at an Immune Disorders fundraiser and it was therapeutic too.  I think Keena’s story is powerful, inspiring, and a healthy balance of hope versus reality.  I am nervous and excited for the chapter that begins in two weeks time.

Interested in a motivational story for your conference? Want a world class speaker to discuss medicine, diet, or life? Contact jborden@jeffpresents.com for more information!

Weight…

(Originally presented at http://jeffpresents.com)  

Weight Management: I know what you’re thinking…this blog has been about communication, education, and other various “higher level” concepts. What’s up with the weight thing? Well, in the spirit of immediacy and transparency, it’s important that I discuss this. And, in fairness, I have used several weight-based illustrations in my speaking over the years. In fact, I have also spoken for the sole purpose of weight management and healthy eathing, so it does tie to speaking. (Plus, it’s my blog…if you don’t care about weight, come back next week!)

So I’ve been overweight my whole life. It’s affected significant elements of who I am as a person – my self-esteem, my dress, my choices of everything from food to women…it’s systemic. But what’s weird to me is that I don’t fit the “mold” of a lot of overweight people. First off, I’m a big guy (I hear this ALL the time). I’m 6’5”, so I “carry weight well” – supposedly. As a result, a lot of people have no idea that I am overweight, even though the BMI suggests I’m actually obese. (Of course, they say that of Holyfield, the boxing champ is too.) As well, I don’t have a “trigger” to my eating. A lot of people eat when they’re happy or sad or scared or depressed…I eat during ALL of those occasions and many more. Do you know how you don’t eat when you’re sick? Not me. Just exercised? I’m starving. Ate an hour ago? I could go for a burrito… I just don’t fit the normal profile. And it’s been disconcerting to say the least.

Like I said, I’ve been heavy my whole life. When I was in 7th grade, the typing teacher at my school came in to see his buddy the gym coach. We were all doing those tests where they count sit-ups, push-ups, pull-ups, and rope climbing ability. I was trying to do one pull-up and I was struggling mightily. As the typing teacher walked into the gym teacher’s office, he glanced at me, snickered, and said, “Having a tough time tubby?” He and the gym teacher thought that was pretty amusing. (I must admit, there have been several occasions when I’ve thought of finding one or both of them and showing them how I grew up as well as out, but that’s a different blog.)So what have I done about it? Well…like most Americans I’ve tried just about everything. As a persuasion hound and a late-night tv junkie, I’ve gone for all of the info-mercial specials! Pills, machines, books, and the like have all come through my mailbox. I’ve gone to a fat-camp, I’ve tried every diet you’ve ever heard of, and I’ve even researched tape-worms bought over the Internet…yep, I’ve struggled with this for a long time.

So, what a crummy blog, right? Who wants to read a losing story? Well, I haven’t actually lost…yet. See, I’ve discovered some great things along the way. And, I’ve gone from 315lbs (about 10 years ago) to 245lbs today. My goal is to reach 235lbs sometime in the next month or so. But, what I’ve learned has actually transferred into many other aspects of life. See what you think.

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1. People are individuals. The thing about the pills, books, and diets that I finally get is that they will NEVER work for everyone. And when you hear someone say they will, you’re about to get taken. For example, some diets say to eat a small snack before bed to keep your metabolism going. But that doesn’t work for me. In fact, I can’t eat after 7pm if I want to lose weight effectively. Is that true for anyone else? Probably. Is it true for everyone? That would be ridiculous. Your body handles certain things in specific ways.
2. Portion control is out of control in our country. It’s ludicrous to need a plate of food the size of a football, but every restaurant in America does just that. People always wonder how other countries eat such fattening foods and don’t gain weight…while there are actually several reasons (more every-day exercise, better-rounded meals, wine consumption, more sleep, etc.), one major reason is portion size. Do you realize that your stomach’s natural state is to be about the size of your fist? Do you realize how much more than that you cram into it every meal? You do the math…
3. Speaking of math, essentially it comes down to numbers. Want to lose weight? Drop 500 calories from your resting caloric number and you’ll lose a pound a week. That’s basically true (of course there are specific people that have ailments making this not true…and you could eat those numbers in chocolate & potato chips and that might throw things off…). But, in base numbers, try to eat no more than your resting caloric intake and you’ll be ok.
4. Our government is wrong. The ideas, health concerns, and numbers that our government puts out regarding food, health, and weight are silly. Any organization that gets money from food lobbyists shouldn’t put any stamp of approval on anything food related. If you want to learn some amazing, but disheartening stuff about food as it relates to health, go to a better source. Try a few researchers and experts on food, nutrition, and health. Here are a few to get you started: The China Study (www.thechinastudy.com), Eat To Live (www.drfuhrman.com), The Food Revolution (www.foodrevolution.org), Fast Food Nation (www.amazon.com), or even SuperSize Me (http://freedocumentaries.org/film.php?id=98). These references will show you that food isn’t just related to obesity – specific foods are linked to cancer, Alzheimer’s, diabetes, auto-immune diseases, and on and on. (BTW – just quit doing anything that involves high-fructose corn syrup. You might as well ingest Clorox on a regular basis.)
5. You need support. I have had many relationships over the years and very few of them were healthy when it came to my being healthy. I’m truly blessed right now to be in a relationship where my wife and family support the decisions I need to make in order to be healthy. This includes how often I eat out, exercising, and snacking. Without support, the job is a lot harder than with it.

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Why did I write this blog?  Hmmm…partly because it’s cathartic. Partly because I wanted to help people see that there are things you can do to help yourself. You don’t have to be heavy – even when it seems like that’s all you’ve ever known. But most important for me is that I want the world to know that I’m doing my best to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Why is it important everyone know? Because I have a beautiful, life changing, wonderful little daughter now. And I will do everything in my power to be around to play with HER kids someday…

(If you would like a speaker for your conference on eating, weight, health, or any other communication need, contact Jeff at jborden@jeffpresents.com)

Professionalism

2/25/08
Playing on the XM Satellite Radio station in  Jeff’s rental car:	Jeff’s airplane reading this week:	Jeff’s website of the week:
Whirlpool - Seal (www.seal.com) I’ve seen Seal live twice and his shows are amazing.  But what I like about this particular song is that I can play along on my acoustic!  The way he threads a melody on top of a beat-based acoustic guitar line is absolutely wonderful to me as both a listener and a player.  (Added bonus, my 7 month old daughter seems to like this song when I strum it. She watches the strings go back and forth with open eyes and a focused intensity!)  There are various versions of this song out there – some of the acoustic ones are fantastic!	An Arsonist’s Guide to Writer’s Homes in New England - (Brocke Clark- Brocke Clark)  What a wonderfully painful protangonist Clark weaves into this tale of trouble, dispair, and tremendous humor!  You cannot help ask the question, “What would my own life have been if I’d burned down Emily Dickenson’s house, accidentally killing two people in the process?”  The story begins after our hero (???) gets out of jail for just such a crime.  However, life doesn’t go quite as he would have liked as he can’t out run his problems. The story is genuinely funny, although sometimes out of the fact that you’d rather laugh than cry.  While I’m not completely through it, I have no doubt that the last few chapters won’t disappoint!  A good read for many genres!	The Clandestine Chef -  www.clandestinechef.com –  What an amazing experience.  (Sorry, if you’re not in Denver, you’ll need to find someone near you who does this same thing…)  Enedina showed up at our house – we had 4 people there for a cooking class.  She brought utensils, all  the food, even a cuisanart!  And we embarked on a delicious 4-course meal that we helped prepare.  She taught us how to supreme an orange (I’ve been practicing!), how to add “special ingredients” to bring out food flavors, and how to correctly hold and use a knife!  I HIGHLY recommend this service if you can – it’s a great birthday gift, Valentines occasion, or just about anything you could imagine!

Professionalism:  Can you do your job? Do you do it well? Do you know how to do that job better than you are given credit for? I’ll bet for many of you, this is the case…I had one of those profound, life-changing, paradigm-shifting moments not too long ago. It was a moment that crystallized thoughts and feelings I had, but until then, had never consciously put into words. A mentor faculty member at Argosy University asked a simple question that clarified the notion of standardization, creativity, work ethic, and free thought. In reference to ‘No Child Left Behind’ he asked, “When will our government trust in our professionalism as teachers? Why is the assumption that after all of our schooling, all of the research, and all of our effort, that we must be micro-managed in how we act, think, and do our jobs?”

There was a conversation that ensued, but the gist of the discussion was that other professions are allowed to govern themselves and to create measures of accountability. But at the same time, these professions are looked to for research, innovation, and ideas around that same governance. So why does that not happen for education?

But it got me thinking more broadly than education. This concept applies to almost every profession in some way, but more importantly it likely applies within the walls of your office, your institution, or your organization.I know several sales-persons who feel like their job is not a profession. These men and women are good at what they do: selling. Many of them have been in sales for decades. Yet, the companies that they work for spoon-feed them exactly what to say, exactly what collateral to use, and exactly how to negotiate. Essentially, they are treated as rookies, children, or incapable adults in terms of salesmanship. At the same time, these companies are often losing out on sales. As any good sales-person will tell you, each situation is complex, unique, and requires various persuasive strategies. Some people respond to cognitive dissonance. Other sales situations require expectancy value. Sometimes, all that is required is use of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. But this “one size fits all” sales approach not only frustrates effective sellers, it also leads to missed opportunities that may have been there had a quality sales-person done what they do: sell.

As I talk with people around the country, this example seems to be the norm more often than not, rather than the exception. But, it begs some questions (at least to me), that need to be addressed. 

First, if a person is not capable of making the kinds of decisions necessary for a job, why hire them? I’m not talking about their first week on the job. This is not about training. This is about allowing a person to do whatever it takes to do the job you’ve hired them to do! Of course there are guidelines and boundaries, but would you fire a chef because they cut vegetables with their left hand, rather than their right? Would you tell a surgeon how to sew up an incision and if it was not done to your specifications, find another surgeon? If a person cannot do what you need for a job, then isn’t it simple enough? Don’t hire them!

Second, this makes me question leadership. Why is it so rare to find leadership that gives control to appropriate people and groups? One of my favorite quotes regarding leadership is from Theodore Roosevelt. He said, “The best leader is the one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what needs to be done, and self-restraint to keep from meddling with them while they do it.” In reading articles and books by leaders of GE, Kinkos, and Motorola, and Google, it seems that there are people who get it. But it doesn’t seem to be the majority of leaders, whether you are talking about education, business, government, or private enterprise. Control seems to be an issue that hinders progress.

There are even some leaders who understand that even they don’t know everything about the company. How exciting it must be to work for a company like GE, where they take retreats over the year with several individuals from GE (line workers, managers, directors…just about anyone). These retreats are designed to ask essentially two things: 1) What don’t we do very well? 2) What ideas do you have that would allow us to do even better?

Haven’t we all worked someplace where the person running the show believed that they knew better than everyone else about every product, every job, every decision…and it’s frustrating! (Especially when they’re wrong – which can seem fairly often.) This really is business communication 101 – typically an elective in most Business programs. If you want to find out what you do well – ask your people. If you want to find out what is ticking off your customers – ask your people. If you want to know where there are holes in the process – ask your people!

And so, to all the leaders out there who don’t do this, it’s time to step up to the plate. It might bruise your ego, but so what? (Isn’t that what you think if you bruise somebody else’s?) It might also lead to better processes, better morale, and (bottom line) better profits. If you aren’t a leader and this frustrates you, I have two pieces of advice. First, get used to it. You don’t have to be a good leader to run a company or manage a department and I could poll you to find thousands of examples proving this point. Second, polish up your resume. There ARE companies out there that listen, that value, and that care what the workers think. Find them and apply.

(If you want some consulting around how to better communicate organizationally, how to treat your professionals professionally, or just how to motivate all things business, contact http://jeffpresents.com for more info!)

Lists

2/4/08 (Originally Presented at http://jeffpresents.com)
Playing in Jeff’s truck right now:	Game just downloaded to Jeff’s computer:	Jeff’s website of the week:
Moto Perpetuo Op. 11 - Wynton Marsalis  (http://www.wyntonmarsalis.org/)–  This album (Carnaval) is probably most known for The Carnival of Venice rendition played impeccably.  However, when you understand that Marsalis plays this Paganini classic using circular breathing – that is to say that as he expels air from his lips he intakes it through his nose without ever stopping – that’s when you marvel at this amazing song.  You’ll also find sad surrender to his blues rendition of Sometimes I Feel Like A Motherless Child.  From a trumpet major in college who could only wish to be as great as Marsalis…this album is brilliant.	Scrabble Blast- (http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=scrabble+blast)Google - this popular game (you can play it online or download a copy for yourself) and I think you’ll be hooked quickly.  Granted, this is coming from a school “Scrabble Club” member.  Geekier people you’ll never know, but word-smythes all, we love our rhetoric…	A Vision of Students Today: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGCJ46vyR9o  –  In preparation for my visit to congress in 2 weeks, I wanted to present this video.  This piece was put together by over 200 Kansas State students – working collaboratively.  They surveyed themselves to try and make sense of education today.  It’s well worth watching…
Lists:  I’m a huge fan of Nick Hornby (http://www.nickhornby.net/).  High Fidelity was a fantastic book / movie for myself and many of my friends.  The integration of music into the narrative was copacetic but it was the lists that really got us going.  If you haven’t ever had a list debate, you’re really missing out.  I love working through the best comedies of all time with my wife, the best 80s band of all time with my best friend, or the best red wine region with buddies from work.  I think the best part about it isn’t the nostalgia and it isn’t getting to hear, “Oh, I forgot about that…you’re right!”  It’s the give and take of the human brain.  It’s the imagination and determination that a person’s will produces when they want to share something valuable and important to them.  And so…as a dedication to one of my favorite hobbies, here are a few lists, a few bests, and a few worsts.  (This ties in to immediacy and transparency, but more than that…it’s fun!)  They are absolute opinion.  And of course, you can disagree!  It’s you’re right to be wrong at any time in our country! The best fictional novel of all time: Point of Impact (Steven Hunter – www.stephenhunter.net) – This is the book that made me want to write books… The best textbook I’ve ever found to teach communication principles (or any principles for that matter): The Persuasion Edge by Dr. Richard Crawford.  It’s out of print, but you can find copies.  Dealing with communication aspects of the courtroom (for lawyers, policemen, judges, bailiffs, etc.) it’s actually quite powerful for ANYONE wanting to learn how to communication and advocate just about anything.  It’s worth searching for. The best television show of all time: M*A*S*H (www.mash4077.co.uk) - I’ve seen every episode at least 5 times.  It was irreverent, funny, psychological, and impactful.  11 seasons means I wasn’t the only one who thought so. Top 3 80′s songs: 1) Take On Me by A-ha.  (Pop up video says the Swedish band got their name because “a-ha” means the same thing in both English and Swedish…)  2) The Way It Is by Bruce Hornsby and the Range (My first CD I ever bought…)  3) Owner of a Lonely Heart (Yes is still one of my favorite bands – they continue to release albums!) The worst soda of all time: Ok…trick question.  Soda is HORRIBLE for you.  How has our country not figured that out yet?  We slurp down gallons of high fructose corn syrup and CUPS of sugar each year.  Top 3 movies of all time: I know it’s hard to do this without categorization, but I’ll give it a shot.  I’m going with 1) Memento (http://imdb.com/title/tt0209144/) – one of the most clever, well established plots of all time.  But you’ll need to see it twice.  2) Braveheart (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112573/) - this movie is just plain inspiring and it even has a love story sewn through the middle for everyone to enjoy!  3) The Shawshank Redemption (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111161/) – the best of King, Darabont, Robbins, and Freeman.  Time to get busy livin, eh? Speaking of…The best Stephen King novel: The Stand (http://www.stephenking.com/pages/Works/stand/) – King creates characters that you feel you’ve met when he’s through.  And this one twists and turns to the end.  (Plus, it’s cool that it takes place in Colorado…) The top 3 Presidential Speakers: I realize it’s unfair as I did not get to hear many President’s speak prior to recordings from the 40′s, but I’m going to have to say – 1) Reagan  2) Clinton  and 3) JFK  –  All 3 seemed to be able to capture the audience and persuade, charm, or inform them throughout their entire Presidency. The worst time of day: 5am…tell that to my daughter.  (Please!) The 3 best places to visit:  I traveled 147,000 miles last year.  I’ve been to Hawaii, New York, Orlando, and a ton of other places.  (48 out of 50 states!)  I feel that I have some knowledge here – let’s see if I can help some of you out!  1) Louisville, KY – the place is beautiful in the Fall & Spring.  2) Flagstaff, AZ – close to amazing hiking, great parks, and cool restaurants.  This isn’t a “fancy shmancy” place – it’s for normal folks.  3) Austin, TX – Keep Austin Weird…go there and you’ll see what that’s all about. Worst thing religious people can say: 1) God won’t give you anything you can’t handle.  (Really?  Tell that to the pediatric AIDS patient dying in the hospital…) Best guitar player of all time: A lot of people go with Santana or Hendrix, but for longevity, creativity, and chops, you have to say Eddie Van Halen! Best list of all time: http://jeffpresents.com Try a list discussion out yourself.  There are countless ways to do it.  Believe it or not, it can be pretty cool at parties, in the car, or the dinner table.  Just don’t get too wrapped up in right or wrong!  (Then it can become, “name the fastest way to lose your friends or get kicked out onto the couch…”) Name your favorite writer. Name the top 5 comedians of all time. Name the best dog breed to own. What’s the best dessert? What’s the best line from a movie…ever?

Transparency

1/21/08 (As seen at http://jeffpresents.com)
On Jeff’s iPod right now:	Textbook for Jeff’s latest Doctoral class:	Jeff’s website of the week:
Someday - Steve Weeks (www.steveweeksmusic.com)–  My 6 month old daughter is just starting to enjoy melody and rhythm.  Since I can’t take the Wiggles for more than 2 minutes, I had to find something “cooler” – enter Steve Weeks.  His stuff is acoustic (think BNL) and his rhythm is pretty varied.  Great for kids but something I can listen to longer than a a city block.	Curriculum development: Theory into practice  4th ed.(Tanner & Tanner)  –  As textbooks go, this is a pretty bad book.  Impractical and hard to navigate, the definition for the entire concept doesn’t even appear for 100 or so pages.	http://www.ted.com/talks  –  This is the first place I saw the iPhone interface technology developed by Jeff Han!  More recently, I loved JJ Abrams talk, the photosynth demo, and Sir Ken Robinson’s description of creativity.  (It lead me to recommend him for our eCollege conference in late March!)  Check this great site out!
Transparency: Have you seen the YouTube video that caused the CEO of the company to come to a customer’s home? You know, the one that got a technician fired and created uproar among Comcast customers? If you haven’t seen it, check it out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvVp7b5gzqUTransparency is the most freeing and the most frightening of concepts for an organization today. The idea that a President or CEO would open themselves up to external scrutiny without the shield of marketing is a profoundly new and daunting idea to many. But in our world of quick snap cell phones, personal blogs, and instant messaging, transparency is often the best (and sometimes the only) way to truly deal with potential trouble in the marketplace today.There are a myriad of ways for the consumer (read: people) to collectively guard, watch, or protect each other from poor business practices, faulty products, bad service, or seemingly unfair corporate entities. http://fedspending.org is using the power (and speed) of the Internet to look into bills being shuffled through Congress with “fat” attached to them. Politicians are not happy about the public knowing of their spending habits. And there are dozens of sites like this popping up every month. Do a simple “watchdog” search sometime…watchdog lists for junk food production, personal privacy, doctor lawsuits, and even NASA spending exist today. And this accountability has rooted its way into most every facet of life: education, business, real estate, food, entertainment, and on and on. People can compare and contrast everything on the Internet. Who’s the best professor at your local college? (www.ratemyprofessors.com) Want to rate a common consumer product? (www.bizrate.com) How would you like to know what government office was the best place to work? (http://bestplacestowork.org/BPTW/about/) Need to find a restaurant, church, gym, or dentist? Not a problem with the World Wide Web. If you want to rate it, rank it, compare it, or research it, somebody has posted a comment, blog, chart, list, or grade on the Internet for all to see. From www.epinions.com to rating buyers and sellers on eBay, the consumer is becoming increasingly knowledgeable about what to buy, when to buy, and how other people experienced their product or service. But with so many citizen opinions and watchdogs out there, how can one possibly keep up? How does a company combat negative ratings and information? How does a savvy business leader effectively deal with this unprecedented level of communication regarding their product or service? Transparency.There are hundreds of popular blogs today. Most bloggers claim that information attained from a blog is more credible and believable than traditional websites. The entire notion of marketing seems diametrically opposed to transparent blogging. Spin versus disclosure – hype versus honesty. Blogging, social networking, and interactive web communication can actually cut problems off at the pass these days. But it takes a good communicator to create a blog worth reading. And a quality blog can be a tremendous asset to any organization. Don’t believe me? How about some experts? Glenn Kelman, CEO of Redfin believes blogging saved his company. Microsoft allowed Michael Scoble to blog for years, changing the perception of the company to anyone who read his comments in the “blogosphere.” Jonathan Schwartz, CEO of Sun Microsystems blogs apologies regularly. Even David Neeleman, CEO of JetBlue tried to say sorry using YouTube after last year’s debacle that held hundreds of passengers captive on grounded planes for several hours. These leaders understand that the Internet is a fluid, salient, accountable place. It’s easier than ever to see how an organization tried to pull a fast one. Poor service detailed descriptions are a click away. A few years ago soccer moms displayed information about politician spending habits that potentially hurt his ability to get re-elected. Last year bloggers uncovered plagiarism by thousands of college professors in their dissertations and journal articles. More recently, bloggers exposed a series of fake blogs by Wal-Mart’s PR firm proving that if you’re going to be transparent, you have to go all the way.But what does that mean? What are the rules for transparency? If you’re thinking about going out into the transparent world wide web, keep a few things in mind. 1. There are secrets you still have to keep. While open-source advocates will continually propagate giving away proprietary secrets, there will always be elements of the business that should remain yours alone. If nothing else, SOX rules are far more important than the Net. 2. Leave your ego at the door.  My guess is this is where most executives run into trouble. One of the biggest problems with business today is the inability to ask what they are doing poorly. Blogging however, assumes problems exist and that they will be shared. 3. Communicate effectively. Check out the styles of other bloggers and follow suit. But avoid ghost-writers or marketing directors as your companies blogging officials. This has backfired too often. 4. Be real. It’s the desire for people to connect to your words, your ideas, and your struggles that makes this entire medium useful. If it’s all roses or muted truth, it won’t resonate with anyone. 5. Finally, don’t ignore the narrative. Brief tidbits of your life and the organization’s culture come out in story. Become a good storyteller and your transparency will be authentic.  (Need help telling a good story?  http://jeffpresents.com can help!)