Mentors

When I was sixteen years old, I remember going downstairs to our basement where my dad was watching tv.  In fact, he was watching some guy on tv talk about the need for men to have a mentor.  I watched the tape with my dad and when it was done, I remember looking up as my dad was silent for a few minutes. “What did you think of that Dad?” I asked after a while.  He went on to explain to me that felt every guy needed a mentor – a leader and/or teacher to help him navigate parts of life that were tough, new, or important.  In fact, my dad said that I should always strive to find a person like that in my life – that he would never be able to fulfill all when it came to advising.  I tried very hard to take him seriously and I’ve looked for mentors my whole life.

So, as Father’s Day came and went and I got to celebrate as a dad myself, it also gave me time to reflect on the men who have had a significant impact on my life.  First off, I’m sorry ladies.  I know there are several of you who have also affected me greatly, but I didn’t think about this until yesterday.  Maybe next Mother’s Day, I’ll do something similar

Note, I’m not talking about respect.  There are tons of men who have passed through my life that I respect a great deal.  My Father-In-Law comes to mind.  He’s a good man – an Air Force man – who can fix just about anything that needs fixing.  He wants desperately to be a good husband, a good dad, and a good Papa.  I respect him immensely.  Likewise, I respect some of my friends.  John, Luke, David, Ben – these are good guys who I love to hang out with – in fact, I wish I had MUCH more time to hang out more often.  

But I’m talking more than friendship or respect – this is deeper.  I’ve known guys to leave companies because they had no mentor to coach them through.  I’ve known men who joined clubs and groups just to find a trusted advisor.  Heck, my mom works with Psycho-analysts who let people pay for years to gain a guide in life!

I would also add that the men in my life who have taught me, led me, and helped me become who I am today were very diverse.  Many probably have no idea that they meant something to me.  Well today I hope to remedy that.  I won’t use any last names, with a few exceptions, but if these guys read my work…they’ll know.

1. Jim, Tim, and Steve.  I lump these guys together because they all held the same role – they were my youth leaders growing up.  As the son of a preacher, of course I grew up in and around a church.  But these three leaders got me through Junior and Senior High School when I was probably pretty tough to deal with.  They taught me how to live a decent life, without the need to act crazy in the name of fun.  And as a result, my high school career was pretty great.  No major trouble – no drugs – no drinking – just fun doing things that I enjoyed and that made people happy.  Thanks for not giving up on me you guys!
2. Keaten.  The best professor I ever had was in college and luckily I stuck around to really gain access to his brain in my grad program.  Keaten taught me how to be a better communicator, instructor, and presenter than any other teacher I had and that’s saying something as I was pretty lucky in that department.  I now know that most college professors are never given education classes – they don’t necessarily know how to teach, what adult learning theory is, how to put an outcome and an assessment together, etc.  But Keaten knew this stuff and he passed it to me.  I was lucky enough to watch him model great teaching behaviors and have him directly assess my ability to create instruction too.  While I’ve come a long way in terms of my education about education, he started me on a path for which I will forever be grateful.  Unfortunately some life stuff got in the way of staying close, but he was a great mentor to me and I won’t forget it.
3. Andy.  I’ve blogged before about Andy.  He’s the ultimate stats guy – a logistician’s logistician.  He loathes blanket statements and starts to shake if people babble on about nothing for long.  But the guy taught me process is important.  If you ask my wife, she’ll tell you I’m a big picture guy.  I’m a visionary.  Don’t bog me down with the details!  But Andy showed me the importance of those details.  Not only did he explain their value, he showed me several ways to implement and operationalize those details effectively.  Anchor against what’s known.  See if it passes the “Spidey Sense” test (one of my personal favorites if you know how much of a Spider-Man fan I am…)  Follow the flow.  And I must admit I actually have some Excel skills.  Not “mad” skills mind you – this grasshopper will likely never out spreadsheet the master.  But I can put formulas together to figure out support numbers or analyze training revenues.  What’s also interesting about Andy is his management style.  Don’t get me wrong – there are people who worked for him that can’t stand the style.  But what I like is that he accepts that.  He knows he can’t manage all people all the time – but he’s going to try like crazy to set up a culture where others can fill in the blanks for him.  And ultimately, he takes care of the people he feels deserve it.
4. Steve.  I came to know Steve as one of our clients about 6 years ago.  He was just taking over the online program for a bunch of community colleges.  I’m actually not sure how long it took Steve and I to become “friends” – but it couldn’t have been long.  We’ve traveled hundreds…possibly thousands of miles together on car trips around the great state of Iowa, and along the way he’s gone beyond simple friendship.  He’s taught me some valuable things.  The most pertinent lesson I’ve learned from Steve is that NICE GUYS DON’T HAVE TO FINISH LAST!  It’s true.  I’ve talked with Andy before about not being “cutthroat” in business.  It’s just not who either of us are.  And it’s probably why neither of us has $4 million in the bank today.  But, Steve has shown me that it’s okay to be a decent person, to try and be a good boss, and to attempt to make decisions that empower others.  Steve has quietly provided a platform for dozens…no, hundreds of people to shine.  He never wants the glory – he never wants the praise.  He just wants those around him to succeed.  From the high school girls he coaches to the college instructors he leads, his “get out of the way” approach to leadership has done nothing but make his groups grow, succeed, and be great.
5. Paul Borden.  I told you, a few last names…and you had to see it coming!  My dad has been a tremendous figure in my life.  Over and over again, he has reinvented himself to me and it hasn’t gone unnoticed.  While I’ve seen him struggle – I don’t think that’s a problem for a mentee.  In fact, growing to see your mentor for all of the positive and all of the negative I would argue is a good thing.  But, at the heart of my relationship with my dad is a friendship – a bond that I hope I achieve with my daughter.  His guidance when it comes to money, friendship, relationships, and so much more has manifested itself throughout my life.  And speaking of modeling behaviors and skills?  He’s the best presenter I’ve ever seen.  He’s a fantastic consultant who can drill right to the heart of the problem and make you believe you are capable of fixing it overnight.  He’s genuinely funny – and not “preacher” funny – but overall funny!  And at the end of the day, I’m proud to call him my dad.  

So thanks guys…to all of you who have helped me navigate the waters.  I appreciate it.  While I haven’t always made the best decisions and I’ve still had to learn some valuable lessons on my own, it’s been made so much easier because of you.  

To all the Dads out there – Happy Father’s Day.  I hope you are mentoring your kids to be better people.  And to all the mentors out there, wherever you are.  Thank you.

Need a motivational speaker for your next event?  Want someone to talk about how to improve communication, teaching, management, or culture at your office?  Contact jborden@jeffpresents.com for more information!

Problems Down Under…and Up Over

I just got back from Australia…what a confusing place that is! They use dollars, but not the same dollars as the US (obviously). They are 16-18 hours behind my beloved Mountain time zone, depending on the time of year. Australia uses centigrade, so when I asked what the temperature would be one evening and heard, “10-15″…I was hosed. I was asked several times if I was staying in the CBD, to which I incorrectly answered, “No, I’m staying at the Hilton…”

But at the end of the day, all of the differences aside, one thing seems to be universal – even down under. Education is in trouble. Talking to educators ended up in the same conversations I have in the states, just counter-clockwise. They’re worried about quality, outcomes assessment, education dollars, and authentic curriculum just like we are in the states. Australian teachers have problem students, problem parents, and problems with administrators just like teachers in the states. Administrators have difficulty with rogue teachers, consumer minded students, and whether to go online with all programs, just like the states. In fact, it seems that we’re all in the same boat for just about every major, educational trend I know of.

So I have to ask…WHY? Why do so few countries seem to get it right? Why are there so many problems? Why aren there so few innovators and visionaries leading the (correct) way down a path towards enlightenment?

Luckily, I have an answer. It’s simple, really: argumentum ad antiquitatem is what it’s all about. Yep, a simple fallacy in reasoning is the culprit behind decades of inaction and fearful speculation. The appeal to tradition is paralyzing education around the world…

Ok, so maybe it’s not just that simple, but listen for a moment to my reasoning. If you look at most scholars who gauge educational relevance, they’ll put it somewhere between 3 and 5 decades late. In other words, educators still teach out-dated theories, practices that nobody uses anymore, and terminology that few “real world” practicioners understand. On top of that, most teachers use methods that are years behind, we force students to learn the ways in which we learned, and we ignore brain research instead focusing on antiquated learning theory.

So you may be sitting there getting frustrated by these comments. If so, odds are that you are 1) a teacher guilty of this (99% likely are…) or 2) an innovator who wants desperately to change things. Well friends, I’m with the innovators.  For example, it still amazes me how few, traditional teachers accept the Internet as a viable way to educate. Is it best in every situation? Of course not. Is it better than on-ground teaching in many situations? Absolutely.  I can show you rich, authentic, meaningful digital assets that will measurably enhance learning.  Of course it’s scary too. It provides a level of accountability that educators aren’t necessarily used to. Data mining is changing the face of online education and the measures / assessments brought with it are going to cause tremendous angst for some instructors. I’ve been in meetings where teacher’s union representatives have flat out denied the viability of online education explaining, “…we’ve never needed to teach that way before…” (yikes)

So you want a fix? Ok – here’s one. Call your Congressman – talk to your local school board – write our President. It will take a small portion of the education budget and some guts. But here we go…

Offer X grants per state for innovative education ideas. Something like 3 schools per state would likely work. One should be elementary, one should be high school, and one should be at the college / university level. The key is in the proposal – it has to be “out of the box” and it has to be adopted institution wide. What would “innovative” look like? Well, I don’t know exactly. The beauty of innovation is that it draws from the collective brain trust. BUT, one key aspect of the proposal would be measurement. How do you measure success? That question has to be answered farily and justly in order to receive consideration. For the opponents of NCLB, this gives them the opportunity to create their own measures. For the proponents, they can use the metrics already in place if desired. But real measurement must provide the outcome.

Let me give one example to get the ball rolling. How about the New City School in St Louis? This is a school where every student has a DEEP understanding of HOW s/he learns. As a result, diversity is embraced without being forced. Collaboration becomes second nature to these kids. And all the while, they see how they BEST learn, while figuring out how to mitigate their own lack of learning styles. In other words, they learn practical application of authentic tasks & assessment – what better way do we have to prepare students for the real world? THAT is innovative.

So, we get 3 schools per state to “pilot” a program for 1, 2, maybe even 3 years. Do you know what we get when we’re done? 150 case studies. We get 150 stories of success or failure. We see what might work, what likely wouldn’t work, and what we should consider rolling out to dozens…heck, to hundreds of schools. It might involve new ways of designing curriculum, different textbook configurations, innovative projects, new uses for technology, providing students with unique tools, or a myriad of other ideas.

We have always been a country that embraces innovation and creativity. While that’s not easy for big business or our government, as a country we still idealize the concept that a new way of doing something may be effective. (Obviously we have to be cautious of the fallacy of novelty…that’s another blog.) So let’s put our money where our mouths are. Let’s let educators put up or shut up. I believe in my heart that there are some creative, innovative educators out there with some potential solutions to our education crisis. Let’s give them a stage to present their ideas and potentially shine.

So would this “fix” education? Probably not. We’re talking about a system that has problems from top to bottom. Just look at the problem with cafeteria foods as it correlates to learning, obesity, and focus (http://www.jamieoliver.com/school-dinners). But, might this start the ball rolling to get more and more of our students educated in a system that creates a more competetive employee! At least I think it might.

So let’s see. I read article after article in INC., WIRED, NEWSWEEK, FORBES, and dozens of other publications about how to tap into innovation and creativity. Why don’t we start modeling and (therefore) teaching it to our students right now? It could lead to education reform that helps us financially, academically, and systemically. Creativity could lead us to a system of education that prepares students for a real world future…whatever continent of our world they may happen to reside in.

Would you like to talk about innovation in education? Want to learn how to both teach and assess creativity in your students? Contact jborden@jeffpresents for more information!

Health & Persuasion

So I’m in one of those mash-ups again… Weight, diet, persuasion, and health are all colliding in a mish mash of confusion and angst, leading to frustration and anger!  See what you think…

My wife recently got Jillian Michael’s book, “Master Your Metabolism” for me.  We are big fans of hers from the show (Biggest Loser) and like many people, I’ve wondered if metabolism wasn’t a potential problem for me over my lifetime.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not back up to 315 pounds like I was in college or anything!  I’m at my normal fighting weight – but I’d surely like to move down a belt or two.  And along the way, if I can eat a healthier diet and live longer (and therefore give my daughter a healthier life…), then I’m in!

Enter the problem.  This is the latest of a series of books I’ve read in the past 6 years since Keena got sick.  We looked at “The China Study” – a book (and author) which believes it proves the link between meat & dairy and a plethora of problems from cancer to Alzheimer’s.  We read “Eat to Live” where Dr. Fuhrman promotes a vegan lifestyle as a way to exist as the weight you should be, fix your cholesterol, and on and on.  And there have been plenty of others.  From gluten tolerance books to vegetarian books to chemicals…there are plenty of people with opinions about our world, our bodies, and our lifestyles.

So let me level set the playing field.  I actually buy into the notion that certain meats and amounts of total meat are problematic – this of course is compounded significantly by the idea of chemical enhancement like antibiotics, steroids, etc.  I also believe that dairy is a bad idea for humans.  As the only animal on the planet that consumes another animals milk AND the only mammal alive that continues drinking milk after begin weaned AND the fact that our bodies produce profuse amounts of mucous every single time we ingest dairy to cope with the notion that our bodies don’t like it…I get it.  We shouldn’t ingest milk!  (Try downing a gallon of milk in under 10 minutes and see how your body reacts…it will be very different than trying to down 1 gallon of water in the same time frame…)

So that is my paradigm – my over arching perception of food.  Along the way I’ve also come to believe that sleep is crucial when trying to maintain weight (Jillian supports this in her recent book), low carb / high fat is dangerous in the long term, and most importantly, everyone is different.  Our bodies all react to various things differently – for example, if I need to shed some pounds, eating after 8pm is a no-no.  I have seen books written by people who state that is nonsense.  But (in my opinion) assuming that every single variable applies equally to every single person is ludicrous.

So back to my dilemma.  Jillian Michael’s suggestions, sometimes supported and other times not as much, are tough.  “Of course they are tough!” you might suggest, especially if you’ve seen her on the show.  Well…there is a difference between tough and impossible.  A few examples might help.

1. Only eat organic fruits, veggies, and meats.  Okay – this is certainly possible for my family.  Although I have a number of friends for whom the double / triple prices would not be a feasible option.
2. Get rid of anything plastic that touches food.  Hmmm…now we’re starting to get hard.  I get the principle – she asserts that plastics are not completely stable and they slough chemicals into and onto foods / beverages.  Your body, not knowing that these chemicals aren’t from the body, assume they are signals and start to react.  These reactions may be to retain salt, retain water, or retain fat.  But replacing every plastic plate, plastic glass, plastic left-over container, not to mention all of the foods that arrive in plastics (did I mention she encourages very little of these foods to be purchased – mostly whole, natural foods)…now we’re starting to get into a major purchase mode.
3. Avoid all chemicals from touching / entering your system.  She would say that the stain-master carpet we just had installed in our new home has to go.  No more chemical detergents for dishes or laundry.  No more soaps or deodorants from the grocery store.  (Do you see why I’m starting to struggle here?)

Unfortunately, most of these suggestions aren’t supported by much data.  Although in fairness to Jillian, there aren’t a lot of people looking to see if correlates exist between our hormones and our environment.  DOW chemicals isn’t too worried about proving that their products are not only hurting the planet but slowly poisoning the human race – imagine that.  However, some of the persuasion she uses is just fallacious.

One example she uses repeatedly is a friend she has who has always been thin, while eating as much as she wants all the time.  She claims that this woman only eats whole foods, healthy grains, and lots of fresh fruits and vegetables.  (I’m reminded of a great Brian Regan bit about how his friends suggested a diet of combinations.  You can eat as much as you want of the right combinations.  For example, you wouldn’t want to eat steak and potatoes…but you can have all the cauliflower and steamed raisin skins you can eat!)

The problem is that I also have a friend – one who is even older than Jillian and her friend – who still wears the same size jeans he did in high school.  He’s a rail.  And you know how he eats?  Like @$#* actually.  He’ll eat 1 or 2 HUGE meals a day, usually from a fast food chain and washed down by a power drink or soda.  But his body can handle what mine could not.  I realize that doesn’t mean he’s healthy.  Even though his cholesterol is normal and his heart is “strong” – it doesn’t mean he won’t keel over at 50.  But he might outlive us all…nobody knows.

So, like with many “health” books, people are left wondering where reality lies.  Is it in such an extreme diet and lifestyle that you can’t really fit into society, or should we all say, “forget it” and eat what we want, when we want, ultimately leading to obesity rates becoming 99%?  (Except for my friend…)

If you have lots of money…I’m talking LOTS of money, being healthy is definitely easier.  Healthy food is really costly.  Ripping out your carpets and installing wood flooring everywhere is not cheap.  Using the right soaps, only drinking non-dairy milks, buying organic everything…is expensive!  But for some people, healthy is harder than almost anything.  I work 70-80 hours per week between my job, my teaching, as a full time doctoral student – and that’s all on top of time spent with my family which is precious.  So, getting to a gym for exercise…I know how important it is, but if I do that (aside from the added expense), what do I cut out?  The job and the teaching can’t go or we can’t live.  The student work can’t go or I can’t get a promotion.  The family time is more important than anything else…hmmm. 

I realize that I’m in a MUCH better place than some.  Some people are working 2-3 jobs just to live and support their families – they don’t even get family time!  How do THEY be healthy?  I have no idea.  And what IS actually healthy?  I think everyone accepts the importance of exercise.  I think most people buy into a healthier diet.  But what is “healthier” anyway?  The research is hard to wade through, especially with so many special interest groups tainting the pool of information and rhetoric.  Try finding a study on dairy that doesn’t include a lit review with findings from milk-purchased studies.  And the jury is probably always going to be out on meat, but most people will eat it regardless of health risks.  Why?  Two reasons – they were raised that way and they like it.  (Both fallacies in reasoning.)  So don’t bother them with pesky facts…

In conclusion, I’ll say that I like Jillian Michaels.  Seriously – I think she means really well.  I watch her care deeply for her clients on the show and she does put her money where her mouth is.  (Notice she doesn’t “sell” the sugar-free gum, sugar-free jello, etc. during the commercials?)  But in the end, her book will find its way to my shelf with just a few nuggets having been gleaned and it’s a shame.  I’d love to find “the book” out there…but I guess that’s as unlikely as “the pill” – right?

Interested in how NOT to use persuasion?  Want to hear more about effective arguments versus fallacious reasoning?  Contact Jeff at jborden@jeffpresents.com for more info!